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Friday, August 29, 2014

These Mothers feel parading naked in the presence of their teenage children is 'most natural thing' - Do you agree?

Jordan, 13, and Jules Pomerance, 44, enjoy nude cuddles despite experts saying she risks causing her son long-term psychological damageKaren King, 44, with her son Daniel, 14. Karen decided to start covering up when Daniel's hormones kicked in at age eight.
                                                    Jules & son, Jordan                            Karen & son, Daniel

These mothers - Jules Pomerance and Karen King do not see any big deal in getting nude in the presence of their teenage sons. Jules, mother-of-three from Hertfordshire and husband Nigel often enjoyed a naked snuggle in bed with Jordan, 13 and his two sisters - Daisy, ten, and Lily, seven. The 44-year-old likes walking around the house in the nude, doesn't wrap a towel around herself. Judie insists she is doing nothing wrong and said:

‘I see no reason to stop as Jordan gets older,’ the 44-year-old insists. ‘Nudity has nothing whatever to do with sex as far as I’m concerned, and as our son has already reached puberty it’s not going to make any difference now. If anything, I think that “normalising” nudity is the best way of countering the over-sexualisation of our children.‘I’m not a supermodel — I have a scar on my tummy from having a Caesarean with Jordan and like most mums I’ve got my fair share of stretch marks. ‘But I am happy with my own body and always have been. Nudity is very normal to me.

‘One reason I’m keen for my daughters to see me naked was because, last year, Lily started to comment that her thighs looked fat. I was horrified and wanted to show her that people come in all shapes and sizes and that no one looks like they do in fashion magazines, not even the models themselves.’

Karen King, 44 who lives near Leatherhead, Surrey, considers herself open-minded, but stopped letting her sons see her naked when they were seven or eight. The mother-of-three - James, 20, Sarah, 18 and Daniel 14 said:

‘I’ve always believed it’s important to treat nudity in a way that removes any stigma and ensures my children feel confident in their bodies. The trick is to know when a line has to be drawn in respect of their bodies and your own.’ ‘Until they were seven or eight, my body, naked or otherwise, had been a source of essential comfort for my sons. After all, it had nurtured all three children through pregnancy and then breastfeeding. ‘I’ve aIways slept naked and I treasured those skin-on-skin cuddles with them when they were very small — medical experts say it encourages a close bond and feelings of security between parent and child. I’d pad around the bedroom naked in front of them, or share baths with them. They were totally at ease running about with no clothes on.’
‘While I respect other mothers who continue to be open with their nakedness in front of their sons, I think they are removing the thrill and anticipation of discovery that is part of the relationships their sons will eventually have with their future partners or wives.’

Jules thinks nudity has been over sexualised but says she would put her clothes on if son Jordan asked her toKaren felt her sons knew too much about the female body as a sexual form

Is it unhealthy for boys to see their mothers undressed once they have reached puberty or, indeed, at any age? Is there a right time to cover up in front of your son?  Sexual and relationship psychotherapist Margaret Ramage agrees and thinks mothers of sons should be aware of the possible consequences of their actions. She says: ‘Once a boy reaches puberty it is much harder to know what the long-term effects of seeing his mother naked might be.’

She believes that given the special bond between mothers and their sons there are risks for boys who see their mothers naked after they are about eight.
‘Although there is nothing intrinsically “wrong” in nudity between family members, it can have effects we cannot predict,’ she says. ‘Neuroscientists have found there is a sexual template in the brain that begins to develop around seven or eight in a boy, and it might be inhibited by the sight of his mother’s naked body, which could possibly affect him in later life.

‘The brain has its own ways of dealing with such things, often not under our own control. As a therapist I have seen adult men who slept in their mothers’ beds in their teenage years and who later complained of a complete lack of sexual desire. Although it’s not conclusive evidence it is enough to alert one to the possible dangers.’ She adds: ‘If nudity were a totally non-sexual matter we wouldn’t be thinking about this. But in our culture, nudity is very much a sexual matter, with mystery, excitement and arousal all linked to it. Generally, it is important that children are not exposed to adult sexuality in any form.’

What can I say? Do you agree with them and Can you walk/parade nude in the presence of your teenage children?  Let me know your views on this matter

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